you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
