i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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