hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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