I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm bleeding and have questions
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize