i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
