Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
