We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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