Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
