Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
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