Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
