I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
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