I want to walk on stilts...naked
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
