Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize