I have demons in me.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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