Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
