meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
