Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Randomize
