How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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