is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Two words: nipple clamps
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