Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
