Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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