I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
