i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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