so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It's never too late to be topless.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
