Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You made out with two different species that night
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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