you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
