JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
