i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
