1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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