he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
