I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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