David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
