Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
