Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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