I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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