apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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