Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
