So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I can't turn off my feet"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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