She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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