Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I believe in your delicious
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
