My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize