i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He passed out mid-signature
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
