Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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