We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
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