Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
