Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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