So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
