with your own penis?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
