So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
