Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
