So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
