I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
