There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
