I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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