i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
high people should be assigned attendants
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
