Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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