he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
