Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
