can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
