There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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