I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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