I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
