Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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