I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We talked him into tasing himself.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
