Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
